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It’s a statement anyone of my generation knows… “Be kind. Rewind.” So I’m going to rewind for a second and remind everyone.. be kind. 

This post is particularly for moderators and administrators of groups and online communities. I’ve noticed a trend for a while and it’s not unexpected, but it is unnecessary. 

If you manage a group or community, I want you to take a step back for a second and remind yourself why you started it: 

  • Was it for a cause you believe in? 
  • Was it part of your job? 
  • Was it a way to connect with others and have fun? 

Whatever it was, get back to that objective. What I’m seeing online is getting ugly and it’s not too late to step back and refocus on the reason you started this in the first place. I’m seeing a lot of power plays in these groups by administrators. Really? THIS is how you’re going to prove your importance? Really? 

Now, I’m not saying this is an easy job. It’s not. I’ve been there. As admins we set up rules in these pages, we monitor who enters, we are actively involved in the conversation. And sometimes, someone breaks a rule and we have to take action. It could mean removing someone from the group. And that is simply someone having to deal with the consequences of their actions. I completely get that and agree with it. 

But but but… I’m seeing a trend starting to bubble that once a person has been “reprimanded” in one form or another the administrator appears to step to a podium on stage to announce that the person has been removed from the group and here’s why. Now, in theory this isn’t a terrible idea. It lets other members know the rules are in place and the moderator is here to keep the conversation safe and not ugly, that those in charge of the page are living up to their end of the deal. But sometimes… though rare, I am seeing it… that announcement turns brutally mean. Yes, mean. 

An admin who berates, belittles or insults a past member of the group to the other members, well that is no leader at all. And it feels very “power hungry.” And.. like I said earlier… really? It’s a Facebook group. Let’s get a grip. 

So I just have two quick pieces of advice this week on the topic: 

  1. Be kind
  2. Get off your high horse. 

Fair enough? You started this group for one reason or another. You believe in it, you care about it. So be kind to the people who have joined you in it. Set the rules, enforce the rules, sure. But let’s just be kind, shall we? The world is crazy and cruel enough right now. 

I miss the late Saturday afternoons roaming the aisles of Blockbuster, having no other plan than rewatching “Can’t Buy Me Love” or “Top Gun” with my middle school friends. It was all so much easier then. And all we had to do was rewind the tape for the sake of our friends and neighbors who might want to watch the movie tomorrow. 

Next week we’re going to talk about how to be a good group member. Now THIS might be an airing of grievances from me so I apologize in advance. But if you know me then you know… the college parent Facebook groups are exhausting me and NOW… now… I have two universities of parents I’m listening to. With my daughter a junior at Indiana University I’m used to that crowd, but just this week I joined the groups for the Class of 2029 at the University of Florida. Congratulations to my favorite son and Go Gators! 

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